With the emergence in his writings of the theme of Eugene’s considering himself the father of his young Missionary family, it is important to seek the origins of this expression.
We have seen in previous entries how essential friendship was for him – a quality that was useful in his pastoral work. When he began the Youth Congregation in 1813, he not only regarded the youth as the beneficiaries of his ministry but he also formed a bond of friendship with them. His letters and his entries in the Diary of the Congregation give numerous examples of this. I would call this relationship a “pastoral friendship,” because its aim was to accompany the young persons to a deeper encounter with God and the values of the Kingdom. The reflection he wrote during his 1818 retreat shows:
What I find reassuring is that I am certain God is the chief bond of that union, since what consoles me the most in my friendships is seeing my friends virtuous, as my great joy is to see them do some fine thing, and also that the mere thought that they could be untrue to themselves and stray the least bit from the good road they are following, would deeply wound me.
In that same love it is true I am happy too to see them succeed in their endeavours, earning the esteem and praise of worthy men, etc.
Retreat journal, May 1818, O.W. XV n.145
Some members of the Youth Congregation were the first to join the Missionaries, we can better understand the progression of ideas when he writes to the young oblates:
for your part, continue to regard me as your best friend, as truly your father.
Letter to the students and novices at Notre Dame du Laus, 29 November 1820,|
O.W. VI n. 56
“The way we behave toward people indicates what we really believe about God.” Warren W. Wiersbe
Again there is so much here to reflect upon. I see with Eugene how he ‘loves’. It is full and huge, the same and yet different for everyone. What you are calling friendship I recognize as love. Eugene, with his “all for God” emptied himself (on an ongoing basis I would presume) and so was “filled with the love of God”. And that’s not something that we can hold in ourselves – I believe that it lives only when shared and given away. Thats when we turn ourselves over to God and allow God to be in and through us.
As I have gotten older (and wiser?) God has given me the grace to let go and love has blossomed and grown in my life. I find myself loving others in a way that I did not know existed. I love as a friend, as a parent, in many ways and sometimes I struggle to find words to wrap around the love that I feel. I truly believe it comes from God and is around God, is based in God, centered in God. And finding words to put around and wrap those feelings and ways of being can be hard and maybe scary.
Eugene became incredibly free to express the love that connects us all. We recognize God’s love in how he loved – those glimpses of incredible joy and tenderness.
Ohhhhh, I just now am understanding what you call ‘pastoral friendship’. That word pastoral. It belongs to all of us, and I say this not in just an agreeing way because everybody knows thats the way it is, but in a way that has depth and truth. I can be pastoral! I am called to be pastoral! It’s all about God, when it’s not me, but God. Excitement and joy in that little revelation. How awesome is our God!
Thank you Frank for writing the obvious, for sharing Eugene with us and for deciphering and explaining. It is such a gift. What a wonderful way to greet the new work day!