Here, in the first meditation of the day, Eugene refers to a moment where his conversion took place. Interestingly, the very next retreat meditation, the second of the day, is the one in which he recalls his Good Friday experience!
I meditated on man’s end. Passably well. I stayed most with the following thoughts: that God created me, and indeed could only have created me for himself, that he fashioned me according to his designs to make use of me in what he knew would contribute to his glory and procure my salvation.
While as for me, until the time of my conversion, my sole preoccupation was to destroy his work, and in this I was only too successful. Thus I went against all his plans, by my fault…
Retreat Journal, December 1814, O.W. XV n.130