1823 : nomination as principal Vicar General of his uncle, Bishop Fortuné de Mazenod. It was a difficult work of restoration and rebuilding a diocese that had not had a resident bishop for 21 years. For Eugene, who was a dynamic preacher and loved being in the field of evangelization, having to be an administrator in an office (and often a disciplinarian to correct abuses) entailed great personal suffering and sacrifice for him. He did it for love of the Church.
I must resume my post. This will be, I hope, again to do my duty there, to try by my every zealous effort to bring a little bit of life back into a dead diocese whatever appearance of health it may have; there will no doubt be new crises, there was never a reform without hurting, wounding plenty of people! No matter; have God alone before us, the honour of his Church, the salvation of the souls entrusted to us; consult only the divine Wisdom, trample on human wisdom, and God will be our help. But one must have much virtue to sacrifice one’s peace for one’s duty, to face the hatred and persecution of men precisely so as to do good for men. This virtue is acquired and conserved only by union with God, prayer and meditation, etc., walking always before God and keeping one’s eyes on heaven alone and its rewards which are none other than God himself. Lord! Grant me the grace of being ever more deeply imbued with these thoughts!
Retreat notes, May 1824, E.O. XV n.156
Strong language from Eugene – there is certainly nothing wishy-washy about him. His feelings about his current job – that of being Vicar General, are quite evident and indicate that it is his job and so he will do it and then goes on to say how he will do it – by having God alone before him.
Here I have a sense of “perseverance” as he reminds us twice of the need to keep God before him – always it goes back to, always it is all about God, his all for God. It is radical and extreme, nothing about his life is lukewarm, “nice and cosy”. I begin to understand more intimately that saying the a person “marches to the sounds of a different drum”. Eugene as conductor is leading this orchestra in a sound that is a little bit different from the normal score. I see him leading the early Oblates, but from afar in a way – as Vicar General in Marseille and later as bishop there. I wonder how he was counselled on this by friends or family. Was he advised to give some part of it up, or to walk away from that which was not comfortable or easy.
There seems to be today this idea that if it is not easy, not comfortable, not the norm then to quit it and walk away. If one cannot agree with every aspect, every rule then quit it and go somewhere else, start something new. I am talking about more than just the Church here, although that certainly fits too. To quit and walk away is not an option, any more than it ever was for Eugene. For years I asked God to “make me little, make me hidden, make me a light for my neighbour’s feet”. It seems to be happening a little bit but not necessarily how I might have wished for. I feel called to leadership athough I cannot claim to being quite comfortable with that. Unlike Eugene I will never be in a position of any type of power or lead a congregation or community. The most I can hope to do is support and be there for a very small group whose time has not yet come, but who refuse to give up as they try to live that very charism, that very spirit of St. Eugene. It can be difficult to discern sometimes what is the voice and call of God and what is plain old need and stubbornness.
“….rewards which are none other than God himself. Lord! Grant me the grace of being ever more deeply imbued with these thoughts!” I take that as my prayer today. This great man, this father to many, this saint – Eugene was and is all of these and more. He speaks to me in what he did, how he lived, who he was. He inspires and encourages and shows the way. He does this in his writings and so I smile because the name of this place is “Eugene de Mazenod speaks to us”.