1837 – nomination as Bishop of Marseille, the second-largest city of France
Here I am in fact pastor and chief pastor of a diocese which, whatever one says of it, is not inhabited by saints. It was given me, I would not have chosen it. However, I must attach myself to this people as a father to his children. My existence, my life, all my being must be consecrated to it, I must have no thought but for its good, no fears other than I have not done enough for its welfare and sanctification, no other solicitude than that which must include all its spiritual interests and even in a certain way its temporal welfare. I must in a word consume myself for it, be ready to sacrifice my leisure, my desire, rest, life itself for it.
Retreat in preparation for taking possession of the Diocese of Marseille, May 1837, E.O. XV n.185
From the first day I can be canonically instituted, that is to say, placed by Jesus Christ to watch over the fold, charged to instruct it, feed it, edify it … to become pastor and father, invested with the very authority of Jesus Christ whom I must represent in the midst of that portion of his flock that will become thus my own flock for which I shall have to render an account to the Sovereign Pastor of our souls who will have given them to me to save them in sacrificing myself for them.
Retreat in preparation for taking possession of the Diocese of Marseille, May 1837, E.O. XV n.185
There is within me a immense sense of wow. Eugene giving his all to God and so too the people of his “flock”. I find myself rereading it and just sitting here with it, trying to almost absorb it somehow, take it on. Incredibly powerful and I am reminded of Eugene’s letter to Henri Tempier and his gathering of like-minded men around him – centered on God, exactly as Jesus had done with the apostles. I know I have read this before and mentioned the apostles but this morning my experience of it is more real or deeper somehow. And the whole idea of Cooperator of the Savior comes to mind. The flock that he shepherds, the first being his own who he gathered around him – like Jesus did with the apostles and disciples. Teaching, guiding, loving, growing them even as he himself grew into who he was and what he was about to do. Eugene loving – with all that he was, all that God gave him. Something that we are all drawn to, but not stopping – it was truly his giving his all to God, ‘being all for God’. “I must in a word consume myself for it, be ready to sacrifice my leisure, my desire, rest, life itself for it.”
Then as Bishop of Marseille, he will grow his flock to include not just his own, his Oblates but the rest of the clergy, the church itself in a way (one of and yet set apart) He will grow it to include all those to whom he ministers, the peoples of Marseille, his flock, his children and as we know that will spread out across the world. The words “he has put on Christ” come to mind (rewording of Galatians). I find myself humbled here as I hear and ponder on Eugene and his oblation, his giving of his all to God, and to the church, to his Oblates, to all of us.
“….placed by Jesus Christ to watch over the fold, charged to instruct it, feed it, edify it” and so does this look like in my life – who do I instruct, feed, edify, how do I live this out?
” … to become pastor and father, invested with the very authority of Jesus Christ whom I must represent in the midst of that portion of his flock that will become thus my own flock for which I shall have to render an account to the Sovereign Pastor of our souls who will have given them to me to save them in sacrificing myself for them.” These words cut through layers of fear and tiredness, through apathy of any kind and inability to understand. They cut through the fog of ashes and bringing life to embers and feeding them to flames. They humble me while at the same time fill me with gratitude to God for Eugene and to Eugene for sharing his heart. This is hard for me to state out loud as a member of the church whose full dignity is not yet recognized by that very church because of my gender, because I am a single lay person, because I do not fit the mold. Who will be my flock – not a following, simply with others, with those I love and serve. I am of course thinking of what I have to give, to the members of the Oblate family, both vowed and un-vowed. Who knows perhaps one day there will not be a need for that distinction, when we all might be the same as described by Paul of the early Christians, none better than the other. Interesting Eugene did not wait until his order was perfectly grown and living to draw others in and to go about giving his all – it was while he was living his all, his oblation that it came to be. If I wait until I am perfect and know everything then nothing will ever happen. It is in my being that the doing will occur and I shall never be if I simply look inward. I must move from my being to that which I am called and hopefully will be allowed to walk with.
Another day and I am fired up. I am greedy and I want it all – and so I guess I will have to keep trying to give my all. I thank God for what I am given, for this place. I ask Eugene to pray for me, a small spiritual hug from this father of us all.