Eugene rejoices at how well his Oblate team was doing in the parish mission in Allauch. As we read his comments, we catch something of the enthusiasm of this group of young Missionaries.
The mission of Allauch is going marvelously and I felicitate myself more and more for having insisted that it be undertaken; if I had listened to the “buts”, the “ifs”, the “howevers”, it would not have taken place and I would have been annoyed.
The church, although big enough, is too small to contain the crowds which flock there. All is going very well and everyone does his part well. I attended this morning the instruction that Fr. Jeancard gave and I was very pleased with it. Fr. Albini prays unceasingly and will confess when his turn comes.
I must not forget to tell you that the Bishop attended the opening of the mission on Sunday and that he brought three missionaries in his carriage; the other two went on foot to their destination but they were so eager, that is to say, Honorat and Marcou, that they arrived almost as soon as we did.
Letter to Hippolyte Courtès, 24 November 1824, EO VI n 159
“Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.” Khalil Gibran
I had a hard time this morning connecting with what was written here. I realised that I was not giving it my full attention – I read it but all the while my mind was elsewhere, on things that needed to be done later today, on things I had done yesterday. I was not present to the here and now. The question came to me, how am I listening? Who am I listening to?
I don’t know the specifics of the “buts”, the “ifs”, the “howevers” that Eugene spoke of but what comes to mind is the ones that Jesus received when he and his disciples found themselves before a mountain side full of hungry people (which ended with the miracle of the loaves and fishes) . Jesus was advised to send them home, to himself withdraw. I look too at some of the decisions that need to be made by the General Administration in Rome, by Provincials and their Vicars. Not easy – where to send their people? What are the needs? I hear how our mission is not to the “churched” but rather to the “un-churched”. Where are the Oblates to be sent to? I think of the people in my own church, some of them who for whatever reason have not been able to feel touched personally by the love of God, who maybe just wait to hear how loved they are.
This morning has helped me to look at how I listen and who I listen to. And to how I respond. Do I respond out of my own needs and wounds, or in response to others’. Does my need to be right enter into it? Uncomfortable questions but not necessarily bad ones – am sure it’s a bit of the both and in answering them.