Eugene had been asked to give a dimissorial letter for Adrien Telmon [ed. the go-ahead given by a major superior for one of the members of his community to be admitted to the “ecclesiastical state” and be formally acknowledged as a candidate moving towards priestly ordination]. He responded to Hippolyte Courtès, who was the one responsible for the formation of the young Oblates.
Do you really mean, my dear friend, to ask from me the dimissorials of Telmon for his tonsure? For a youngster who has given us grief up until a day or so ago, who was decided to leave us, who on departing would most likely have unfrocked himself, this smacks of too much audacity. For me, this request is premature and I shall not risk proceeding until after a long trial. I see little disadvantage in postponement but much in hurrying.
I had promised, it is true, to apply for this privilege at Christmas, when I refused to make the application sooner but that was on the supposition that the child would behave well, yet never has he committed more stupidities. I admire your clemency but shall not follow your inclination, for this would be to risk the same blunder twice. When Telmon will have given us, thanks to prolonged good behaviour, sufficient guarantee, we can go as far as requesting his admission into the ecclesiastical state; until then I will not take it upon myself.
Letter to Hippolyte Courtès, 24 November 1824, EO VI n 159
Here Eugene is appealing to the principle of never being in a hurry to admit someone to a life-long commitment if there are any areas of behaviour that may lead to doubts. Father Jettė, a former Superior General, always insisted on the principle: “If there is a serious doubt about the person’s vocation, then it is the Oblate Congregation that must be given the benefit of the doubt.”
Eugene is not being unreasonable here. He is aware of the qualities and goodness of Telmon, but equally aware of his faults and the areas of behaviour that needed more maturity.
Rule 54a of our Rule of Life is clear on this principle: “candidates should give proof of maturity consistent with their age and have a satisfactory knowledge of Christian teaching. They should show signs of a constancy of faith and Christian life, of love for the poor and an aptitude for community living.”
Whenever I come here it is certainly to listen and learn about Eugene, the early Oblates and the Oblates of today. But there is much more than just that, for it is here that I find myself coming to know who I am, who Eleanor is, it is here that I learn about myself. There is an invitation to look at my own life and discover how and if I can relate to any of this in the here and now. For the most part I usually find myself responding or reacting almost immediately. I read, I reflect, I write and I reflect some more. I go where it leads me. It is “easy” to find the connection in my life.
At other times though like this morning, all seems hidden and it is like the ink well has run dry. I find myself unable to relate and there is then a temptation to simply look harder because surely if I cannot relate, if it does not resonate somehow then I must be trying to avoid something within myself. Perhaps though it is nothing more than I simply don’t relate to what is being said.
And now as I prepare to post this comment, this rather strange reflection, a thought occurs to me. I have been walking with a friend, each of us sharing our journey. She too is learning and coming to a certain place within herself and it is such a gift to see. Sometimes she will tell me that she is “not there yet”, but moving towards and I know what that is like and what she is talking about. And I think of how lately I have asked God on more than once why it has taken me so long to get to where I am. I been coming to the conclusion that guess I am where I am supposed to be. I think back to the life-long commitment I made to God thirty years ago, which I have been true to – perfectly no, rather imperfectly. God did not rush into anything with me, His patience has been life-long. I guess I can’t measure, especially using someone else’s yardstick.