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“A father’s communication with his many children… that is one of the most agreeable occupations of my life” 1857
Sometimes that I find myself expecting Eugene de Mazenod to be more saintly, holier, more loving and I have to laugh at myself – for he is a saint, canonized and recognized by the Church. Perhaps in part because he was so human yet still in moments of struggle and weakness he reminds turns to God: “God will help me; it is him whom I invoke.”
Eugene did not enter into a diatribe of how wrong the director was, nor did he condemn the man. “I had exceeded all measures of mercy and… paternal kindness towards him.” And so he turned to God asking for help; and I have the sense it is not help in ‘fixing’ the other, but more in the sense of God healing Eugene himself. Eugene invoking God to fill him with more love, to inspire him, to help him carry his load so that he could continue to bring about good.
Eugene’s only power and authority was in God.
Give me Lord what I need to continue on the road that you have set me on, to continue your work, to continue to love as you have loved me.
I think of the scene in Jesus Christ Superstar where Jesus is suffering in the garden before his betrayal and his prayer as sung: “I only want to say… if there is a way…” Jesus voicing his doubts and pains but not running away from what God was asking of him. It was the Father who Jesus invoked, just as Eugene invoked God’s help in carrying the load that had been given to him and which he as Bishop had accepted.
I think of my prayer when I cry out and invoke God. “Jesus have mercy on me, love me and give me what I need to carry on.” Pretty basic, and yet I never have to explain the why or the how. “…have mercy on me, love me and give me what I need.”