MY REPUTATION BELONGS TO THE CHURCH AND ALSO BELONGS TO THE CONGREGATION OF WHICH I AM THE FATHER MORE THAN THE HEAD.
In refuting the accusations against him by listing all the times that he refused honors and positions, Eugene now reveals something in his diary, intended for his eyes only, that he had kept a secret for many years:
I forgot a fact very pertinent to strengthening my argument. It is what happened in Rome when I went to see Pope Leo XII to have the rules and constitutions of our congregation approved. This great pope set his eyes upon me, for whom he had taken a very special liking, and wanted to keep me in Rome in order to admit me to the Roman prelature and lead me to the cardinalate. Such was his definite intention and not more than two years ago Cardinal Orioli divulged this secret, which I had always kept hidden.
Did I let myself be seduced by this prospect, which might well have dazzled someone else? No, thank God, I only insisted more strongly with the Holy Father granting me what I had come to ask for: the approval of our institute, and it is perhaps to this selflessness that I owe the unexpected favor of having obtained what cardinals and secretariat officers had assured me was impossible.
Did I let myself be attracted to this viewpoint which might well have been able to dazzle someone else? No, thanks be to God, I insisted only more strongly with the Holy Father that he grant me that for which I had come to ask him: the approbation of our institute, and it is perhaps to this indifference that is owed the unexpected favor of having obtained what the cardinals and the officials of the secretariats had assured me to be impossible.
Eugene concludes his reflections on how he had always avoided personal honors:
After all these actions, will people be persuaded that those who have ascribed an ambitious outlook to me are slanderers? I insist on noting it because my reputation belongs to the Church and also belongs to the congregation of which I am the father more than the head.
Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 31 August 1847, EO XXI
REFLECTION
“True humility is not an abject, groveling, self-despising spirit; it is but a right estimate of ourselves as God sees us.” (Tryon Edwards)
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There is a great depth of truth in Eugene’s words in his diary. Here is a bishop stating that his reputation belongs to the church, here is the Founder of a congregation, who declares that the Spirit and the Church are the ones who have planted, nourished and safeguard the seed… I think for a moment of Jesus planted, hung on the cross and dying in order to be reborn in new life. We are not the owners of any other but rather we are called to be mothers/fathers/sisters/brothers of and with each other sharing in the Charism given and grown within us. It is God who with tender nourishment, shares life and gifts that are gifts bestowed upon us, each other and all those we meet.
I remember how Eugene in his letters would tenderly embrace the person(s) to whom he was writing; he may have sounded stern but that did not negate his love for them.
We are never any “better” than others – and I think of how we are called to walk with each other as “pilgrims of hope in communion”. The need to be better than… is born out of competing to be the ‘head’ or owners of something. I think of how compassion is brought about with love as we recognize ourselves in each other.
Deep within us we recognize and know that we are imperfect, and humility is but one of by-products of true and endless love lavished upon us.
God IS love…