Now that the work that God has called me to has been achieved, what could be a more happy event for me than to die, especially if the sacrifice of my life were to be accepted not only as expiation for my sins, but as a holocaust to the Lord, to appease God’s anger and to turn away God’s scourge from my people and especially from our priests whose life is so precious. Up to now only one of them has died, our poor Abbé Martin; but all of you are threatened.
Letter to Fr. Henri Tempier, 12 September 1849, EO X n 1018
REFLECTION
Let us not be distracted by the theological language of two centuries ago: today we have a different understanding of natural disasters and epidemics. What is important in this extract is that Eugene did offer his life for the salvation of his people in Marseilles.
From the time of Eugene’s conversion journey, he wanted every aspect of his life to be an oblation, “all for God.” It was in the spirit of early centuries of the Church where the highest expression of oblation was martyrdom, the total gift of self to God. What is interesting about Eugene is that this martyrdom was to be achieved as a result of a gift of himself to God through serving others. For this reason we speak of the martyrdom of charity, as opposed to the martyrdom of blood.
This has been a struggle for me this morning only because today I am unable to find a sense of worthiness as I stand before God. I know what it is to want to serve others. But doubt is like an insidious illness that snakes itself throughout our beings. I refuse to give into that or even try to measure it’s depth.
The best that I can do is to allow myself to become totally distracted with special beauty offered by the rising sun and how God has painted the skies with shades of pink against grey clouds in the skies and nature’s colouring of the trees. A sight that no artist could ever truly capture.
The most that I have to offer is myself, small and very human. I suspect that may be the case for many…