Fr. Dassy, community superior in Nancy, was highly talented but very severe and demanding with the members of his community.
To tell you the truth, my dear Father Dassy. I cannot open a letter coming from Nancy without trembling. Since I last visited that town. I have not received a single one that has not disturbed me more or less. But the one that I am now answering surpasses them all. What a horrible discovery!
Fr Dassy had written to tell Eugne about the serious misbehavior of one of the members of the community.
And in telling about such horrors, instead of doing your best to console me, you turn back into yourself once again to complain that I have reproached you for being too severe… You admit, you add, that you did not scold him enough. Yes, be sorry, my dear friend; it is much better to inspire confidence than to frighten people…
Letter to Fr. Toussaint Dassy, 16 October 1849, EO X n. 1025
REFLECTION
The Founder himself had a paternal love for each of the members of his religious family. He was severe when he had to be, but it was always within the context of his love for the person. We have several accounts of his exploding in anger at a situation, and then experiencing remorse when he realized he had hurt the person by being unduly harsh. A tearful hug always followed.
Sometimes severity is a by-product of holding on to our own personal ways of being and living. We hear a lot of that on the news these days: in politics, how we are to pray, excuses for ongoing wars, and running our businesses and families like “boot camps” rather than communities. With the frustrations and fears in today’s world we must not forget about love and mercy and how we practice that within our families and communities.
To ask for forgiveness of another or a group of others can be humbling and fearful; full of “what-ifs”. And yet if we are a part of a family, a community, it will be the bonds of loving forgiveness which keep us together.
“In humility and with the strength of charity, we express our responsibility for each other in fraternal correction and forgiveness.” (C 39)