After his ordination, Eugene spent a semester as a formator at St. Sulpice Seminary because the Sulpicians had been expelled by Napoleon, and so the senior ordained seminarians took over the seminary until a more permanent solution could be found. During this time Eugene is preparing himself (and his family) for his return to Aix. In this extract of a letter to his mother, he shows his clear understanding of his responsibilities to the Church as a priest:
In the past I have already alerted you as to my intentions in this regard: they are simply the consequences of the obligations that my state of life lays upon me.
Today’s priests are not like those of old; we are priests for the Church alone and so every moment of our time is hers.
Thus, every moment not employed in prayer, study or the exercise of the holy ministry would be so much time robbed from Him to whose service we are wholly consecrated, taking into consideration the whole extent of the obligations we take on.
This is why no one should entertain any idea that on my return I shall be entering into the round of visits, and the observance of the so-called social niceties, etc., etc. All that sort of thing is out. My whole way of life has been thought out in advance, and nothing will make me change it, for I don’t take a decision before thinking the matter out in God’s presence and coming to see its rightness; after that the matter is closed. People may say I am uncivilized, a scoundrel even if they like; it’s all the same to me, provided I am a good priest.
Letter to his mother, 22 April 1812, O.W. XV n. 105
The Church – there is great mystery here. Eugene, very early on in his priesthood is stating that he is a priest, a man of the church and he goes on to state how he will serve the church. Here he is giving his entire being over to God, to love and serve through and in the church. This glorious Church, given to us by God, which is herself a mystery, for she is more than just building or a collection of buildings/places, more than the sum of all of us who make her what she is, more than the hierarchy and persons who try to lead and/or rule through her. As I sit here I find myself unable to give adequate words to express what and who she is to me.
I see Eugene who accepted to be and live out that being as a priest of the Church, even though he saw many who were not ‘great’ priests, even though he saw some of the limitations and dare I say the ‘non-godliness’ of some of her teachings. Very early on he states how he will live and love and serve as a priest of the church, ignoring what he calls the social niceties, which to him might put him in a bit of an ‘elevated position’ and most surely a place of distraction. I find in him a bit of myself who loves (without being able to give a reason as to why) this holy Church. I struggle with her, well I struggle with some who would say that they speak for her and rule and control through her, Were I to give up I would have to walk away from her and that would be somehow like walking away from a part of myself, there would be a dying there.
There is in all of this great mystery that I seem unable to explain or frame with words. I would like to be able to say that ‘I am a person for God, for the Church alone, and so every moment of my time is hers’. But I am not so great or serving as Eugene, I seem only to manage a very little bit. I think I spent years trying to ‘do’ that and now find myself wanting to ‘be’ that and wondering what it will look like.